Men: Don't sit at home with the kids - it's a trap!
There’s a certain number of men who are willing to sacrifice all their life in pursuit of a goal. They are very driven, very high energy and very healthy. They are willing to work more than 80 hours a week nonstop in order to specialize on one thing in order to get to the top! If you are not this type of man, or do not intend on being one, please do not read this article.
Men have something to offer. As a man you have the capacity to set the world straight in a particular domain where you are naturally gifted - which is necessary in the world today, and it’s OKAY to be like this!
Did you know: only men have built successful empires.
The scam
The biggest scam is to let society convince you that your ambition, forthrightness, and desire to move forward in order to achieve something and take your place as a man is fundamentally wrong.
Imagine your family structure as a horse and cart trailer (as shown in the picture below). In order to get the horses in motion, you have to be in front as the coachman and drive the horse drawn vehicle. If you switch your position and move to the back with the passengers, the horses don't move. Periodically, you will go to the back and check whether everything is still alright and in tact with the passengers. But your position must remain in the front as the coachman.
As a high value man YOU ARE THE COACHMAN!
According to society, as a man and as a father you need to be at home and be mother number two – watch TV, help with looking after the kids, washing, cleaning etc. In other words, you must be a passenger of the horse and trailer as well. I would argue that if you succumb to such societal pressures, you let go of your position as a coachman!
How then will your horse and trailer move?
As a man you NEED to be evolving and in motion in order to guide, be role model and be a SUPERHERO - it's hard to be this when you're comfortable being at home.
Resentfulness, bitterness, hostileness and vengefulness will arise if you give in to these social influences because you are slowly losing your super power and you intrinsically know it and feel it.
Studies have shown that men who are always around women and babies decrease their testosterone. This is naturally vital because you need to become more tolerant, for example, for a crying baby. On the flip side you are chemically castrating yourself and losing your sovereignty because high testosterone levels is your juice to get up and make things happen. As a man you should love your kids; pick them up, play with them, but put them down and go! Go out there and conquer – you are wired for it!
Historically, men were always away in war, down coal mines or generally doing something important for humanity. They would then come back with new experiences that will inspire their children, which automatically makes them superheroes and retains the mystery (for attraction to be retained there has to be a degree of mystery). This duty seems to have served humanity well.
Women pick the winners - they choose high value men!
"I want a guy who is sweet and sensitive, takes care of my needs and who thinks about me every time" – Have you ever tried being this type of guy and wondered why women don’t pick you?
It is very hard being a high value man, and ironically it's the women who chooses the winner (the top dog). 99% of the time the winner is the top tier man who didn't sit at home with his family and watch Peppa Pig with the kids.
Naturally and societally, expectations for a man are much higher than for a woman. To a large extent, men are still expected to assume the role of financial provider. Failure to adhere to these expectations may result in one’s masculine traits not being recognized or acknowledged. In some cases, men are considered “less of a man” because they cannot fulfill the expectation of financial provision. This affects their interaction and relationships with other men, women, and children. By bending to societal pressure of "staying home” you impair your chances of financial gain.
Men and women will never be the same on each end of the spectrum
SCENARIO 1 - the more free the society is, the more different men and women will be
Equal opportunity does not equate to equal outcome. If you leave men and women to sort themselves out, you will not get equal outcomes. Women will still pick top tier men, and men will still want to go out and conquer in order to be top tier men.
Scandinavian countries (Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Iceland) have gone the furthest in making gender equality the purpose of the law. In such countries you would expect men and women to be relatively the same. I have news for you because the data is in. Studies found that there is 20 to 1 female nurses to male nurses. They have also found that there is 20 to 1 male engineers to female engineers. What qualities do nurses have?
Caring,
good communication skills,
stamina,
empathy
commitment to patient advocacy.
What qualities do engineers have?
Insatiable Curiosity
Attention to Detail
good team player
good problem solving skills.
Analytical ability
Logical thinking
What can we conclude from this data in a society that has gone the furthest in trying to make men and women the same? Well, I can comment from a masculine perspective that engineering skills (which 95% of men have from the data) mostly require a man to be alone and away from everyone, including his own family in order to be able to foster the above characteristics. It is impossible to develop and cultivate such skills while at home.
SCENARIO 2 - The closer you are to base level survival, the more naturally people revert to their gender roles.
If there are ten men and ten women in a boat that got shipwrecked, the men would naturally start to do things like building shelter, hunting for food and starting a fire. The women would, in return, naturally start doing women things like cooking, gathering and looking after children. These actions will give this shipwrecked society the best possible chance of survival. This is why, in poorer countries of the world, the people are naturally closer to their gender roles. What can we learn from this? When there is a threat of survival, men and women will assume their gender roles.
Watch how quickly women get into their “gender role” whenever there is a problem or a threat. Watch how quickly you will lose your value as a man whenever you cannot provide. Yet, you are expected to be a provider for the family while also being mother number two around the house. You cannot be a man and woman at the same time. Its impossible to perform masculine and feminine duties.
What about dual income homes where the man and woman have a job? I will write an article on this later on. Stay tuned by subscribing below.
I am a man but I have feminine traits
Personally I exude a feminine trait called the “social personality type” which is explained in the following way:
Individuals who are a social personality type are dedicated leaders, humanistic, responsible and supportive. They use feelings, words and ideas to work with people rather than physical activity to do things. They enjoy closeness, sharing, groups, unstructured activity and being in charge.
From the definition you can see that this personality type is highly feminine. But the way I go about life with this personality type is highly masculine. For example, I use my feelings to get a message across in a structured way here on Substack . To do this I have to be alone, think, analyze and test my thinking (masculine traits). How can I do this if I succumb to society telling me that I should stop acting this way and be mother number two?
It is a war for anything you want
From a masculine imperative you have to understand that life is war. It's a war for the money you want, or for the status you want. If (as a man) you don't view it this way you'll lose because it's a quest to conquer.
Money is waiting for you. It has the ability to buy you freedom and freedom will buy you happiness. Dishonest rich people love to say “money doesn’t make you happy” but have you asked yourself as to why they don’t give their money away?
Society has convinced us that it's okay being mother number two in order for us to accept pursuits that don’t encourage masculinity and worthy pursuits that you not only benefit you but humanity as a whole.
Why women should not be offended
Some women get offended by these types of messages because they have experienced trauma and have had their relationships impaired by men. They then settle for weak men who they can dominate and have influence over – which is a sub optimum solution. It is very bad to have a male partner who you dominate because they don’t partake of any responsibility. What makes me make these vast generalizations? I’ve lived long enough to observe such relationships and have used my masculine brain to have insatiable curiosity in order to analyze such state of affairs.
It is easy to control a normal man who is not of high value– tell him what to do, make him look after the kids, wash dishes, do cleaning – but it is a long term bad solution because he won’t adopt responsibility of his masculine traits. And when men don’t adopt responsibility they will end up hurting you as the woman, affecting the family structure, which ultimately affects society as a whole by creating hard times
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